I was around 12 or 13 when I first started to smoke, it was not because of peer pressure or to be cool or anything like that. To be honest I wanted to smoke because of the surgeon general. The warning and the anti-smoking programs made it seem like each time i lit up was akin to playing Russian roulette. I would smoke every chance I got in the hopes that this time it would work.
The "DARE" program and "MADD" were just as responsible for my using drugs and drinking, I told myself. To be honest with myself I was doing something completely different, it is know as self medicating. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this I will enlighten you. I was sad all the time, I remember seeing an after school special that showed kids smoking weed, they appeared to be having fun. They were laughing, and goofing around. They seemed to be happy, and I wanted to be happy.
I found some kids who were "pot heads" and they were more than happy to get me high, they also hooked me up with mushrooms. All I had to do was supply them with booze. This was easy for me since my father was a drunk and kept the stuff hidden all over the house. I still remember taking Vodka to school in a DARE water bottle, hows that irony for you.
Keep in mind that I was not addicted to any of the drugs, they would help me be happy and fit in somewhat. However this did not help my school work one bit, I already did not care about school. Now I started to not care about anything.
Maybe if the warnings had been more realistic they would not have enticed me so much, or maybe i was so fixated on what I wanted them to do for me i over looked what they were doing to me. i was not happy before I took my first hit of weed, but when I was high I felt happy. When I was losing my high I felt normal, and when I was no longer high I was even sadder than before.
Wow, its disturbing how advertisements can be so persuasive. But if you felt happy on weed, then its not so bad. Keep these posts up, they're inspiring and thought-provoking.
ReplyDeleteI never got as hooked as that. But I do remember my Senior year in HS, during finals week. My friend and I had all the same classes, and we were drinking Midori Sours in class all day while taking tests. It was fun!
ReplyDeleteIt's tough what a lot of kids go through, there's no support for them either.
ReplyDeleteI tend to stay away from most things, cept cigarretes
ReplyDeleteI can agree with you about the "DARE" and "MADD" programs. Teenagers enjoy rebellious activities, and these campaigns will only fuel their fire.
ReplyDeleteI personally self medicate. Living in Alaska has some benefits. Thanks for the read.
it's nice that someone can open up to this extent in a blog, and use past experience to advise the readers. i'm following.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear all that man. I've kept clean so far throughout my life - however my friends etc take drugs at party's and the likes. I've just always had a strong enough head to say "no". My girlfriend has smoked since she was thirteen, now being eighteen - she has stopped and said it was one of the best choices she has ever made. Thanks for the post, Giulzz.
ReplyDeleteI've stayed away from all that stuff.
ReplyDeleteit is best you did stay away from it.
ReplyDeleteMan you've definitely had an interesting life so far! Thanks for posting again.
ReplyDeleteim a on and off smoker... i blame it on the dope!
ReplyDeleteim sorry to hear that you started smoking so early. Ive never smoked in my life
ReplyDeleteI wanted to post a bit more: I hope you stay away from the stuff
ReplyDeleteI do enjoy a fine selection of Herbs. But my love life and school work comes first (as wimpy as that sounds).
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's very hard to quit, you need to have self dedication.
ReplyDeleteKind of a let down man. A lot of my blog focuses on addiction so I know how you feel. I can't stand the let down, I was always chasing my first high... It's a chase that never ends well.
ReplyDeleteI've been trying to quit for 6 months now. Feels bad man. Herb helps lol
ReplyDeleteWow.
ReplyDeleteLife must have been pretty tough.
I hope that things have gotten better for you, even the littlest bit.
It's a great testament to your character that you can be so honest.
I smoke cigs and not weed. Maybe I should switch...
ReplyDeleteYeah, those programs where a bunch of tools told you to stay sober were not helpful for keeping kids off of drugs. Classic enantiodromia.
ReplyDeleteSmoking is bad!
ReplyDelete