My first suicide attempt is something hard to talk about for me, so please bear with me.
When I was like 9 years old i decided it was time to end things. So I did the logical thing, I went into the bathroom and looked under the sink for something with a Mr. Yuck sticker on it. I found this white bottle with a cap that had to be pushed down to open it. It was shaped like a bleach bottle, but the contents were a ugly see through green, and it smelled really bad. So I decided that should do it, and took a nice sized drink, even thinking about it now makes me nauseous, and on 3 different occasions I have walked into a bathroom smelled the cleaner smell and instantly vomited.
Soon after I took the deadly drink I started to feel like I was going to throw up, so I thought if I was someplace cooler I might be able to fall asleep and just not wake up. I was on my way to the basement when I lost it, all over the stairs and railing, I did my best to try to clean up the mess. Not 20 minutes after this happened, my father was on the way to the basement (he hid booze down there, but that is a topic for another blog) and he noticed the railing was a little slippery.
He yells for me, and I make the mistake of going to him. He immediately starts yelling at me, "what the fuck were you thinking, you want to kill someone, I should kill you" and then he began to beat me. I was not allowed out of the house (or had to stay in my room if someone came over) for the next month, not so much because i was grounded but because my parents did not want anyone to see the bruises on my face...
sorry this one is so short, but I can not go on right now.