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Sunday, February 13, 2011

Smoking

I was around 12 or 13 when I first started to smoke, it was not because of peer pressure or to be cool or anything like that. To be honest I wanted to smoke because of the surgeon general. The warning and the anti-smoking programs made it seem like each time i lit up was akin to playing Russian roulette. I would smoke every chance I got in the hopes that this time it would work.

The "DARE" program and "MADD" were just as responsible for my using drugs and drinking, I told myself. To be honest with myself I was doing something completely different, it is know as self medicating. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this I will enlighten you. I was sad all the time, I remember seeing an after school special that showed kids smoking weed, they appeared to be having fun. They were laughing, and goofing around. They seemed to be happy, and I wanted to be happy.

I found some kids who were "pot heads" and they were more than happy to get me high, they also hooked me up with mushrooms. All I had to do was supply them with booze. This was easy for me since my father was a drunk and kept the stuff hidden all over the house. I still remember taking Vodka to school in a DARE water bottle, hows that irony for you.

Keep in mind that I was not addicted to any of the drugs, they would help me be happy and fit in somewhat. However this did not help my school work one bit, I already did not care about school. Now I started to not care about anything.

Maybe if the warnings had been more realistic they would not have enticed me so much, or maybe i was so fixated on what I wanted them to do for me i over looked what they were doing to me. i was not happy before I took my first hit of weed, but when I was high I felt happy. When I was losing my high I felt normal, and when I was no longer high I was even sadder than before.

22 comments:

  1. Wow, its disturbing how advertisements can be so persuasive. But if you felt happy on weed, then its not so bad. Keep these posts up, they're inspiring and thought-provoking.

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  2. I never got as hooked as that. But I do remember my Senior year in HS, during finals week. My friend and I had all the same classes, and we were drinking Midori Sours in class all day while taking tests. It was fun!

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  3. It's tough what a lot of kids go through, there's no support for them either.

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  4. They say drugs are bad for a reason...

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  5. I tend to stay away from most things, cept cigarretes

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  6. I can agree with you about the "DARE" and "MADD" programs. Teenagers enjoy rebellious activities, and these campaigns will only fuel their fire.

    I personally self medicate. Living in Alaska has some benefits. Thanks for the read.

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  7. it's nice that someone can open up to this extent in a blog, and use past experience to advise the readers. i'm following.

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  8. Sorry to hear all that man. I've kept clean so far throughout my life - however my friends etc take drugs at party's and the likes. I've just always had a strong enough head to say "no". My girlfriend has smoked since she was thirteen, now being eighteen - she has stopped and said it was one of the best choices she has ever made. Thanks for the post, Giulzz.

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  9. I've stayed away from all that stuff.

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  10. it is best you did stay away from it.

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  11. Man you've definitely had an interesting life so far! Thanks for posting again.

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  12. im a on and off smoker... i blame it on the dope!

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  13. im sorry to hear that you started smoking so early. Ive never smoked in my life

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  14. I wanted to post a bit more: I hope you stay away from the stuff

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  15. I do enjoy a fine selection of Herbs. But my love life and school work comes first (as wimpy as that sounds).

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  16. Yeah, it's very hard to quit, you need to have self dedication.

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  17. Kind of a let down man. A lot of my blog focuses on addiction so I know how you feel. I can't stand the let down, I was always chasing my first high... It's a chase that never ends well.

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  18. I've been trying to quit for 6 months now. Feels bad man. Herb helps lol

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  19. Wow.
    Life must have been pretty tough.
    I hope that things have gotten better for you, even the littlest bit.
    It's a great testament to your character that you can be so honest.

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  20. I smoke cigs and not weed. Maybe I should switch...

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  21. Yeah, those programs where a bunch of tools told you to stay sober were not helpful for keeping kids off of drugs. Classic enantiodromia.

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