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Thursday, February 17, 2011

Living in my head

First, I would like to apologize for my lack of a daily post, but I could no longer afford my internet. My only source of income is Social Security Disability and it just got cut to $590 a month. Things are going to be kinda tight until I can find out why my SSD has been cut. I tried calling social security and they were not able to give me any answers. At this rate I have to choose between paying rent and eating. It pains me to ask this but if any of you could make a donation via the Paypal link (you do not need Paypal to make a donation) it would be a big help!

As I have stated before in my blog, I deal with things by fantasizing situations going the way i wish they would go. A good example of this is would be recently fantasizing about robbing a bank. I started doing this at a young age, come to think of it I have been doing this as far back as I can remember.

One of my favorite escapes as a child was that I was accidentally switched at birth. I would not pretend my parents real parents were rich, or famous, but just that they cared! I know that sounds pathetic right! In school I would imagine that i had stood up to the bullies, or beat the crap out of them, or lastly that i was them.

When things got really bad I would imagine that I was about to die, and various was of doing so. I know that this was extremely unhealthy but I can not help but to think that this may have kept me from acting on my feelings.

Sorry this is so short but I am having trouble focusing as I am at a coffee shop right now. Until I can afford the $200 to get my internet back on I might only be able to post like once a week.

19 comments:

  1. Bad times man, I'm only a poor student but I'll send something your way if I can..

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  2. Stay strong man, I just donated 5 bucks.

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  3. Keep your head up, something will come up.

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  4. Sorry to hear, just cut down on costs and use backtrack 4 ;)

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  5. Gotta learn to be thrifty and make extra cash on the side

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  6. I used escapism to get through my time in school as well. Often I'd pretend to beat the bullies too, usually while wearing a nice suit. Anyway, take care man, I'll send some extra money your way if any turns up in my budget. Stay strong.

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  7. Sorry about your ilness.. I've been there, done that, just remember that usually things will work out ;)

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  8. Wish I could help with the cash, but you've got my support.

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  9. I wish I could donate something to help you, but I'm a US citizen - living in extreme debt.

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  10. Wish you success... and hope you get some Internet at your home

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  11. Hope everything works out in the end for you man.

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  12. just wait it out man, things get better over time...

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  13. keep it together man, itll be alright :)

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  14. Wow, I can't wait until you turn your internet back on.

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  15. I just found your blog and Im struck since I used to work in hospital for the mentally ill. I can relate. Stay strong! Money will come 'round one way or another...

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  16. Things get really hard sometimes, I know.
    It will end up working out.
    Don't worry.

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  17. Keep on going! You can do it!

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